Do you have dreams to travel, are tired of waiting for someone to join you, and are afraid of going on your own?

Let’s face it. It can be scary taking the leap and going someplace new– particularly alone - like a new country, with new customs, and where people speak a language other than our own. It can feel both exhilarating and scary as we step out of our comfort zones. But that’s also part of the adventure! Travel provides an opportunity to open ourselves to new ways of being, thinking and experiencing something new, as we break out of the known and expand our points of view.

Many years ago, when I was in my 30’s, I realized that if I waited for someone to do something with, I could be waiting for the rest of my life. That wasn’t very appealing! So, I decided to venture out. There was a band I liked playing at a local bar, and as I love music and dancing, I wanted to go. I felt scared and intimidated, but that was better than sitting home alone!

To support myself in my new endeavor, I created a safety net and made a contract with myself to stay for 40-minutes. If I wanted to leave after that, I could. I developed a foolproof approach by getting to the dance late, so the band would already be playing and I wouldn’t feel so out of place. But life had other plans! Although I got there nearly an hour late, the place was empty, and the band hadn’t even arrived! I wanted to bolt – but I didn’t. I went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and reminded myself of my contract. I took a breath, left the bathroom, and chose a seat at the bar rather than sitting in the empty ballroom. I struck up a conversation with the bartender, and my fear began to fade. As the hall began to fill with other dancers, and the band began to play, I was happy I decided to stay. In fact, I had fabulous time, asked someone to dance, and stayed the entire night!

How does this relate to facing our fears while traveling? Unexpected things happen. The best made plans may fall apart, but there may be hidden surprises just around the corner. Trains may be late, or we may feel lonely and wish we had someone to talk to. But don’t despair, there are solutions for every problem.

We all have dreams. Whether we go for them or not determines the level of energy and joy we experience. To bring greater balance into our lives, it’s necessary to tap into what really turns us on, and to fulfill the dreams and desires that make up a part of who we are.

As a Stress Management and Life Balance Coach, I recognize that we are all different. Some of us are ready to leap into the unknown; no holds barred. Others of us need to venture out more slowly, building confidence and courage as we go. There’s no one right way. But, if we want a bigger life, we must open to new possibilities, and choose to do something different.

Begin by challenging your fears.

If you’d like to travel solo, here are a few suggestions to make yourself more comfortable:

Sign up for a walking tour. Schedule one for your first or second day, depending on your arrival time. You’ll have an opportunity to learn something about the area you’re visiting, and may connect with other travelers. (For instance, I have met others for dinner, and on a couple of occasions, we have even travelled together!)

Be flexible. Choose two or three things you’d like to do during your trip, then leave plenty of time to walk around and wonder. This will give you structure, as well as free time to discover unexpected surprises!

Learn the language. If you don’t know the language of the country you’re traveling to, pick up a language book and learn a few helpful phrases. Locals will appreciate it, and you’ll feel more included in the culture.

Make contacts in advance. For instance, if you play music, go online and search for other musicians who live in the area you’ll be visiting. Send them an email letting them know when you’ll be visiting, that you also play music, are traveling solo, and would like to meet with other musicians while you’re in the area. I’ve used the strategy to reach out to members of dance groups, as well as professionals who are in the same line of work as I am. Someone in Portugal even planned a small party for me as I was visiting during my birthday!

Be safe. Most importantly, stay someplace where you’ll feel safe and comfortable. For instance, doing a home exchange with another habiqohomeswap member will give you first-hand knowledge of the area you’ll be visiting, and the experience of living like a local!

The decision to stretch my comfort zone and go the dance alone when I was in my 30’s was a turning point in my life that led to traveling solo. It’s been decades since that experience, and I’ve learned a lot along the way, including my love of traveling solo. It provides the freedom I like, and makes it easier to meet locals, as well as other travelers – some with whom I’ve formed long-term friendships that would never have happened otherwise.

Challenge your fears. Create a plan. Get support, when needed. Then have the time of your life!

Bio

Theresa Conti is a Life Coach, and seasoned traveler. She supports women in developing the courage and confidence to travel solo, and create travel plans that inspire and delight them. Contact her at Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a complimentary consultation. You’ll get acquainted, talk about your dreams and concerns, and explore how she can help you.

Following Your Dreams: Facing Your Fears While Traveling Solo By Theresa Conti, CLC

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