" I have enjoyed life a lot more by saying "YES" than 
saying "NO."

-Richard Branson

In July’s blog, we invited you to share your travel concerns by answering a few questions in a short survey, with the aim of helping to lessen them. 

In this month’s blog, I’d like to address a common concern that holds many people back from pursuing their travel dreams, as well as other aspirations. 

To learn more, and how today’s blog might be helpful to you, see if you relate to Jessica’s concerns, included below, and a few strategies to resolve them.

Survey Question:

What concerns you about pursuing your travel dreams, or is holding you back from following them?

Jessica: “I lurk in all these travel groups, and I see all of these brave people travelling the world, and it’s something that I would like to do, but I have all of these what if’s: What if I get robbed? How do I keep myself safe, etc.” As a single female in her 50’s, how do I keep myself safe in unfamiliar places?” 

Theresa:

Our What If’s often hold us back from pursuing our travel dreams, among other goals. According to an article in Psychology Today, 91% of what we worry about are false alarms, and of the remaining 9% of worries that did come true, the outcome was better than expected about a third of the time. (I am including a link to the article at the end of today’s blog, should you like to read it.)

Case in Point:

Years ago, I knew someone in Seattle who was taking her first trip abroad. She had food allergies, and other health issues, and was concerned she might not get the food and support she needed. Then... she realized she had been creating a what if scenario that was preventing her from realizing her dream. She went on to share an insight that served as a powerful antidote: "What if I could buy the food I need and connect with other people along the way?"  She went on to enjoy her very first trip to Europe!

 It's easy to let fear hold us back from achieving our dreams. After all, the brain is trained to focus on what could go wrong instead of right, as a way to keep us safe. Uncertainty is scary, and it's natural to want some control. Yet, letting our what if's rule us prevents us from thriving, and living the lives we wish to live.

In May’s blog, Following Your Travel Dreams: Facing Your Fears While Traveling Solo, I wrote five tips to help solo travelers feel more comfortable traveling on their own. Safety and feeling lonely are major concerns, and ones we can plan for in advance. 

For example, signing up for a walking tour is a great way to connect with other travelers, and alleviate potential loneliness. Reaching out, in advance, to colleagues, and people who share your interests, is another wonderful way to make contacts, and connect with locals. 

Don’t be shy! Start by asking friends and colleagues if they know someone who lives in the area(s) you’ll be visiting. Then, take a breath, and reach out to them. But don’t despair if they don’t know anyone.  You can also search for colleagues, and people who share your interests, online!

For instance, I’ve sent email to Life Coaches, and other energy healers, I’ve identified through a Google search. I begin by introducing myself, letting them know I’ll be visiting the area, that I’d like to connect with other coaches, etc., and then ask if they’d like meet up for coffee. While there have been a few who haven’t responded, most provide a positive reply. There was even someone in Lisbon who planned a little party for me, as she knew I would be traveling during my birthday! 

It takes a bit of hutzpah, but it’s a creative way to meet locals, gain insight about the area, and develop a sense of safety, knowing you’re not alone.  Of course, vet the person you’re contacting to ensure you feel safe and comfortable. I’ve sometimes set up videos calls via Skype, WhatsApp or Zoom to get acquainted before meeting them.

Reaching out to groups who share your interests, such as dance communities, Facebook groups, etc., are additional resources.  For example, I posted a question about where to find jazz music in Seville on a local Facebook group and learned of a wonderful venue where I spent a Sunday afternoon listening to fabulous music. It was crowded when I arrived, so I asked someone sitting by himself if I could share his table, and had a lovely conversation with another jazz fan.

If you’d like to read additional tips, you can find them here: Following Your Travel Dreams: Facing Your Fears While Traveling Solo

Here are few more “What If” examples:

1. You want a job that uses your skills and abilities, and gives you more independence. You're bored and frustrated, yet your current job provides a safety net and gives you a sense of security. In a fret, your mind starts working overtime, and puts the breaks on by telling you: "What if I get a new job and I don't like it?" Or worse - "What if I don't do well and get fired?" 

While guarantees are never provided, you've just "what iffed" yourself out of exploring new opportunities.

What if you changed your "what if's" and told yourself this instead?:

"What if I get a new job and like it?”
"What if I do get fired? It could happen anywhere. I'm smart, and know I can handle it."

2.You're tired of sitting home alone on Saturday (or any!) night and have a friend who would like to set you up on a blind date with someone they think you'd like, but you're reluctant to go because you feel scared and vulnerable. Thoughts like: "What if I don't like the person, and am stuck for the evening?" Or, worse yet, "What if the person doesn't like me?"  So, you decide to stay home, take out the ice cream, and spend another night alone.

What if you changed your "what if's" to this?:

"What if I have a nice night, and meet someone I like?"
"What if the sparks don't fly, and I make a new friend instead?"

3.You would like to take a trip to someplace new and beautiful, but your friends aren't available, and traveling alone is out of your comfort zone. You want to go, but your mind is off and running, and your thoughts are scaring you! You listen as they tell the dreaded story: “What if I feel lonely or something terrible happens and I have no one there to help me? ”  Next thing you know, you're back on the couch with a movie and a bowl of popcorn.

It's true - you may feel lonely, and something might happen, but...

What if you told yourself this instead of letting your “what if’s” stop you:

"What if I enjoy traveling alone, and like the  freedom and flexibility it provides?"
"What if I make a list of resources, so I'll know who to contact, if needed?"

4. Lastly, no matter what “what if’s” concern you, one question tops them all: 

“What if everything works out okay?”

Of course, these are only examples, and we need to do what makes us feel safe and comfortable. But what if the "what ifs" we create aren't so black and white?

A big thanks to Jessica for sharing her concerns!

Stay tuned for more questions and answers in September’s blog!

If you have travel concerns that are holding you back from pursuing your travel dreams, please leave a comment in the Comments Section below, or feel free to write to me at Theresa@reconnecting2you.com. I’ll do my best to address them in Habiquo’s future blogs.

Happy travels!

Warmly,
Theresa

Reference:
Psychology Today

Bio

Theresa Conti is a Life Coach with more than 30 years’ experience. As a stress management / life balance coach, and seasoned traveler, Theresa supports women in developing the courage, confidence and resources to travel solo, and create travel plans that inspires and delights them. Feel free to contact her at Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a complimentary consultation. You’ll get acquainted, talk about your travel dreams, and explore how she can help you.